I could use some wisdom

Having grandchildren staying with us becomes a full time job for me. Though I'm wise enough to get them off to camp all day, when they're home with us I want to be fully present. But who do I become around them? I'm so tough on them! Lots of laughter for sure. Fun. Games. But lots of rules. I never chose to have children of my own but marrying John was the great cosmic answer to that plan. I was given, and truly accepted, four. They're all grown and now have these wonderful kids that they share with us.

So in the summer when they visit for a week at time, I want to give them my best. But I know I want too much. I want them to knock it out of the ballpark every time. And whenever they say something that shows their doubt in their own abilities, I'm RIGHT THERE to coach them to…. what ? A better answer? A more empowered view? I don't know. I don't always remember that who they are is enough. But how do you consistently bring out the best in a child and encourage them to believe in themselves?

Good evidence that the kids love me. They're all eager to visit and stay with us. My grandson Matthew said, "Vitsy, you are very funny!" (Now THERE'S a brilliant child!) I know I connect with them. But I must not be frustrated for them. It's important to balance my desire for their success in life with the reality that who they are, in this moment, is enough.

Boy could I use some of Dead Rita's wisdom! How did she do it so well for me? She was tough. Didn't tell me I was wonderful all the time. But somehow I felt loved and supported. Her compliments were always sincere. But I wonder what I think is missing.

This is when having a dead mother really becomes an issue for me. When it becomes clear that I really need her here.

I'll search around in my brain for a good answer on how to be the best for my grandchildren – what WOULD Dead Rita have said?

But sometimes words of encouragement from a great source really help. So if you're reading this and have words of wisdom, don't hesitate to tell me. I don't know it all: I just look like I do!