It is well with my soul

There is so much trauma in the world. Self inflicted and inflicted upon us. But healing happens constantly through all mediums. Healing through the arts is the mission of Well Arts Institute http://wellarts.org/ , a nonprofit in Portland that seeks to enhance wellness using the creative arts in the severely and chronically ill and people living with traumatic life events.

Last night I went to a fundraiser for them. KC Cowan, host of OPB's Oregon Art Beat acted as a fabulous MC and Susannah Mars, a vivacious cabaret singer brought warm, humor and personality to her performance. Additionally, two powerful pieces by Wells Arts were presented by the actors and writers who use the stories of those who have suffered to give insight to the audience of their pain, their journey and their path of healing.

The writers are those who experienced the work brought to us. They choose an actor to represent their story and the rest unfolds before the audience.

It was really good! (you can see why my eloquent reviews don't warrant newspaper space!) J And money was raised for this important program.

I think of my darling Dead Rita and how she struggled with her cancer. She couldn't even say the "C" word until almost the end. Her story would have been fabulous. Her story, her wisdom, is the one I tell in my book. But what if she had had the chance to tell it in her own words? Healing would have been more complete.

But it is now well with her soul. There is more wellness in the souls of those whose stories are told through Well Arts Institute. And the gathering last night to celebrate and support this work made the souls of all who were in attendance better for being there.

Go to the website and then attend a performance in the future - you will be better for it.

Sharing Abundance: Find. Give. Connect.

We are blessed in this country. It is that simple. Some more blessed than others for sure. And if you choose to serve others, it is good to work in partnership with people who are of the same heart, soul and focus.

An amazing woman and friend of mine Della Rosenthal began an organization in 2005 with her sister called Sisters of the Community with a mission of providing low-income families with clothing, toys, books and other basic needs. After distributing 20,000 items in 18 mos. they decided to grow their organization in a geometric way and came up a unique solution: an online virtual warehouse where non profit organizations in need of items for their beneficiaries could meet donors in need of sharing their abundance.

With 160 organizations signed up, the need is now for DONORS of items.

Here's how it works: Go to the website http://DonorsResource.org and read all about it. Look at the organizations who have signed up. Click on I WANT TO DONATE and add your items to the virtual donation box. (watch a 3 min. video on the site to see how it works). Your privacy is not shared (email address) just your item. After you enter it successfully, and 'sent your item to the virtual warehouse' you'll be contacted through the website. But YOU initiate the contact with the organization to get your item. Brilliant.

Abundance is a gift. Here's a chance to share what you have with others in need.

Ethnic Pride

Where am I from, exactly? I don’t exactly know. For all of my thousands of conversations with Dead Rita, she was a little fuzzy on her heritage. She was born out of wedlock to my grandmother and Johnny Clark. I THINK it’s all German on my grandmother’s side….but is there some Polish in there too? I don’t know anything about Johnny Clark my grandfather. Mr. Papa proudly discussed his German heritage….but there was always so much exaggeration and so few facts, I have no idea where HIS family comes from within Germany.

It’s a family of secrets from a heritage standpoint. And I’m surprised at how little I care. Probably because it was never emphasized by either parent.

This all comes up as a topic after we spent a lovely evening at the Festa Italiana last night. John aka Giovanni, beloved amore, is half Italian (Father) and half Irish (Mother). But we definitely celebrate the Italian part of him and even went to Toro Italy to find his lineage.

When in Rwanda I see the pride of being a Rwandan, being from a certain place. That was never emphasized in my family and therefore few facts are known to me. I know I could do that whole genealogy search, but I don’t think so. It’s just interesting to see what is focused on by our parents, and then what legacy we are left with because of it.

I seem to fit in wherever I am in the world. But strangely enough, when we were in Northern Italy near the German border, John was handed a menu in Italian, and I was handed one in GERMAN! Das ist so lustig!

A Must Read (AMR) – A Grief Observed

Welcome to my book corner. This reoccurring section of my blog is brought to you by my desire to share some of the meaningful books in my life. Some are more serious than others, but they are all about wisdom. Like my book about the wisest woman I'll ever know and her universal wisdom – http://DeadRitasWisdom.com Sign up at the website to get advance notice….I'll even sign your copy! How exciting for me!! And thanks.

AMR 3

One of my favorite authors CS Lewis wrote this book to describe his journey through the grief of his wife's death. He was a brilliant scholar and tutor who lived from 1898 – 1963. Well known for The Chronicles of Narnia, Mere Christianity and his lesser known works such as The Screwtape Letters (one of my favorites).

I found A Grief Observed not long after Rita had died. But I couldn't finish it. Lewis' journal of struggle, agony and near despair struck too close to home early after her death. Finally, I finished it a few months ago, nearly 10 years after her death. So much of what I experienced in understanding my loss and grief was spoken through this journal. A book of less than 100 pages that I recommend for anyone trying to understand their own journey through loss. NOT a light hearted read but one that brings healing.

I rarely discuss the loss of Mom because I honor her more by my action than my mere grief. But there is a place for grief and for me, CS Lewis helped to understand that journey through it.

The best advice Dead Rita ever gave – gave me a great marriage

I met John in January 1980. We married August 15, 1981. (honeymoon picture shown above) I was 24. His children were 12, 14, 16, 18 and he was 42. They said it wouldn't last. And they was everybody. Fair enough. It looked impossible. But the impossible is always possible. Ask anyone who has overcome impossible odds. An Olympian athelete, a single parent, a business person facing terrible odds, a survivor of the 1994 Rwandan genocide. And yet. We accomplish the impossible.

Our lack of support was complete. Dead Rita's support was nonexistent and would have been a deal breaker if she hadn't taught me the following lesson: "someday you may choose someone we disagree with – if you can leave your entire world to be with him, then go. If not, he's not the one." I got engaged on a regular basis (no really) and whenever I asked myself that question, invariably I knew the answer was NO I WOULDN'T LEAVE MY ENTIRE WORLD TO BE WITH THIS MAN!!

As we neared the big day in 1981, I got nervous and asked myself the question above. Without thinking, I said, "yes, I would leave my world!" I was stunned and afraid and knew he was the one. In the meantime, Rita (not dead then) did everything but throw herself in front of a train to stop the upcoming nuptials.

In fact, 2 nights before our wedding JOHN told me I shouldn't marry him! He told me I didn't know what I was doing. I was devastated and told him, "look – someone has to believe in this besides me! You have to believe we can make it."

But a year after we were married, Dead Rita apologized and said she was wrong. I reminded her of the wisdom she had given me when I was 17 which made me realize he was the one. She didn't remember but it was true wisdom. (it's this kind of universal wisdom in the upcoming book)

A seriously great marriage. Funny, sexy, loving, successful. We're now 51 and 69. I'm at the height of my career, John is retired for 6 years and just built an airplane. Life is good. And while everything could change in a moment, I cherish this life and what we've shared. I do – I do – I do!

Flourish

A wonderful friend of mine started an organization called Flourish.

"All serious daring starts from within." — Eudora Welty

Flourish was created in 2007 by Nancy Thompson as a way to Connect, Inspire and Empower women by bringing together interesting people and inspiring events that help participants grow, thrive…Flourish! Nancy combines her creative talents, event planning skills and strong desire to be a catalyst for personal growth to create a unique business that is focused on inspiring and connecting women. The goal of Flourish is to create a community of women who value the opportunity to take time from their hectic lives to relax in the company of other women, explore new things, and share ideas in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. Through her own experience as a wife, mother, worker, volunteer and friend, Nancy knows how easy it can be to lose our "self" in the busy-ness of life. Flourish's mission is to offer events that will create wonderful opportunities to re-connect and celebrate who we are as women.

I've attended her events and have left inspired. Paola Gianturco who wrote Women Who Light the Dark took my breath away. Dr. Kelley Reis, a Naturopathic Physician gave a wonderful talk about women and health. Nancy brings women together in a meaningful way.

She asked if she could feature me as 'August Fabulously Flourishing Friend' (ah, give me a second….SURE!). So here's the link: The Flourish Flash Blog - http://flourishpdx.wordpress.com/ To see more about her events and attend and connect and FLOURISH, go to: http://flourish-pdx.com/ See you there!

And thanks Nancy for allowing us to flourish together. V

A Journey of 60 Miles

A new friend of mine, Laura Simmons is walking in the 3 Day Breast Cancer walk for Susan G. Komen for the Cure Race. She will walk 60 miles over 3 days in Seattle beginning on September 12^th. I am supporting her financially on this journey and encourage you to do the same.
http://08.the3day.org/goto/DrLaura

Dead Rita died from complications of breast cancer. The last time I walked in the Race for the Cure in Portland was in 1997 with her. She didn't want to do it – HATED cancer but joined me on the walk – truly for me she walked. It was an 8K and though she was in good shape, she had feet as tender as a baby's. So what did she do? Buy new tennis shoes and not wear socks! By a mile into it, she was hobbling from blisters. But she refused to give up. I gave her my socks and she walked in socks only for the rest of the walk. She NEVER went barefoot and it was excruciating for her. But we finished. Dead last. (even the motorcycle cop passed us.) And 40,000 participants. But she finished the race.

I honor her by giving whenever I can. But I still cannot bring myself to walk a race for breast cancer….yet. In the meantime, join me in honoring someone you know. Give any amount. But please give. Thanks. To donate go to Laura's home page on the Komen site: http://08.the3day.org/goto/DrLaura

A True Must Read (AMR) – Walter the Farting Dog

Welcome back book worms and readers! This will be a reoccurring section of this blog…books I love. Other than http://DeadRitasWisdom.com

AMR 2

Through the simplest of messages come profound ideas. No. Not flatulence. This first book in the series appeared in our home a few years ago when our granddaughter gave her grandfather, aka Pappy, aka John, the first book for Father's Day. I was dismayed at the title – tooting is just not something I embrace. But the grand kids and John roared as she read the book aloud to him.

Walter has a problem with back end blow outs and this book is all about his adventures. The underlying message is that this series is for everyone who has ever felt misjudged or misunderstood. For you must understand, Walter's bottom burps occur when he is happy – or using his unusual power to save the day.

Beautifully written and illustrated, a real toot, I mean HOOT, to read:

Titles include but are not limited to:

• Walter the Farting Dog
  
• Walter the Farting Dog Farts Again!
  
• Walter the Farting Dog: Trouble at the Yard Sale
  
• Rough Weather Ahead for Walter the Farting Dog
  
• AND EVEN ONE IN LATIN: Walter Canis Inflatus (because they farted in Roman times too)

There are others in the series which I also own. There's a plushy with sound effects. Which I don't own.

Authors: William Katzwinkle and Glenn Murray – Illustrated by Audrey Colman

My A Game

I can't speak to this weekend's attempt for the largest kazoo gathering in Hillsboro for the Guinness Book of World Records BUT there was excitement for me at the Williamette Writers Conference on Saturday!

I met writers, agents, intelligent thoughtful people who are working hard in the book business. And then I remembered what I didn't realize I'd forgotten: writing this book is just like another business. And I love business.

Writing Dead Rita's Wisdom and marketing it is no different from the business of the Itafari Foundation or the business of my Executive Coaching and Speaking business. It's all about executing a plan and following through.

For Itafari, it's about clarifying the message of assisting Rwandans to rebuild their country in ways they know are most productive. http://itafari.org

For my business of coaching and speaking it's working with clients in a way that empowers them to be their personal best in business and in life http://victoriatrbosh.com

For Dead Rita's Wisdom it's the message of what this book is about, what it can do for others, and how it's needed to assist people in connecting in with their own inner wisdom. It's about a compelling and convincing book proposal. A great author's platform. A passionate belief in the power of this book. http://DeadRitasWisdom.com

For all these things in my life (and other areas as well) I need to bring my A game or said another way, not hold anything back. An excellent message, proposal and then execution.

Just like life. Have an A Game week my friends.

Agents and Kazoos

I thought this weekend was going to be relatively quiet but it's just picked up a few clicks!

This morning John was reading the paper and said, "hey, did you see this article titled Asians troll for books?" What??? And then he said AGENTS (I have got to get my ears checked!) will be at the Willamette Writers Conference this Saturday and writers can pitch their books! Now doesn't that sound like fun?? It does to me! Talking about DEAD RITA with new fresh faces…it feels like I'll be at Amateur Night at the Apollo Theatre ready for the buzzer. Because all they can say is no.

Dead Rita's Wisdom – the series….Wisdom Weekends for Women….Book club appearances….website http://deadritaswisdom.com/ (have YOU signed up for notice about the book?) … Larry King Live (don't ask about the last one – just a weird premonition)

I'll report back Monday.

And THEN, to keep our grandson happy on Saturday, John also spotted the Guinness World Record Attempt for the largest kazoo ensemble in Hillsboro Oregon! (And as the ad says: no talent required.) Now that will be entertainment!

Everybody wins! Somebody is going to make a splash!

Happy Friday.