Unexpectedly Grateful

I do not know what came over me today. The weather is crappy. I have a ton of things to do. And I was just down. John and I went out to lunch and I was itching for…not a fight…but an opportunity to be discontented.

Smart man: he didn't play into it. Then we came home, I took out one of my famous 50/50 pies (half blueberry/half cherry with a pie fence crust and lattice top) – (really, I should patent these babies!) and then to the grocery to get things tonight to take to a friend's home for dinner and items for a dinner tomorrow night to host some people who are headed to Rwanda at the end of May.

After a lovely shopping experience of all things fresh and organic, we sat while I had a coffee at New Seasons. I was watching people, thinking about their lives, what their story might be. A woman at least my age found a table and tentatively looked at a job application for the grocery store. She looked so damn tired. And I thought how difficult her life must be – she had that energy. And I rarely feel sorry for anyone, but I felt sorry for her. And I thought I'm tired too, but I'm sure it's different for her.

Dead Rita was always "tired tired tired" as she would say. And she looked at her life in many ways as not being the life she wanted. And as I thought about my life and all of the demands on me that I have created, none of that is true for me. This is the life I want. I have created all of these demands. There is nothing - nothing I am doing that I do not choose to do. And in that revelation, in that moment, I looked at my beloved husband and was overcome with a sense of gratefulness for the life I have.

A far cry from the discontent I had felt only an hour earlier. And as I write this I go from grateful to empowered. And my thought becomes: bring – it – on! Bring on the challenges, the opportunities, the failures, the success. And I'm reminded that I can create an amazing life full of moments of discontent and moments of gratefulness. And that's a good day for me.