I Dreamt of Rwanda

In this dream John and I had just arrived….and would only be there for HOURS. So much to do – so many people to see. I think we had traveled through France, a new route for me. We were tired but I was exhilarated. I visited with Joy first and was figuring out how many baskets I could bring back in our luggage. Then I was preparing to draw a bath and all of these people with whom I work came to say hello. Par for me, I knew their faces and not their names! We greeted each other with such happiness. I don't know that I've ever been elsewhere in the world where I most completely see reflected in the faces of the people I meet, my own feelings and emotions, as I do in my friends in Rwanda.

With only hours to work, I began. And then I awoke. I have plenty of stress dreams. This was not one of them. There was no stress. Total completeness in being in Rwanda. I clearly miss it. And I won't be back until the Fall. It's always choices.

At home I have an equally compelling and attractive source of joy: John. He wants me to cut down on my visits to Rwanda. I understand, honor him, and have fully said "yego" to his request. It is a terribly good problem I have to face. I am passionate about so many things that are in my life. Life is good.

Each night when I would put Mom down to rest after she could no longer care for herself, after we'd done the nightly ritual and discussed if I would be home the next day to be her primary caregiver (we lived for weekends and THURSDAYS)….we'd look at each other and say, "life is hard, but life is good." It was only after she died that I realized we hadn't truly found the right words. It always should have been, "life is hard, but God is good."

So much going on. Looking for a publisher/agent for Dead Rita's Wisdom. Running my business. Growing Itafari Foundation one brick at a time. Finding avenues for speaking engagements to motivate and inspire those who want more. Getting in shape to make this journey a healthy one. And finally, living an authentic life as a woman, wife, parent and grandparent, friend and family member, that reflects my faith, my zest, and my passion for making a difference wherever I am.

I'll take the dream. It was so joyous. I was there in the moment of my dream. Until I set foot in Rwanda again, I will remember the dream that I have for this country and especially for the people there who come to me in my dreams.