I wish I could see what you see

It was always one of the things about Dead Rita that was so frustrating. She couldn't see herself clearly. She couldn't see the beauty, the wisdom, the strength that those of us who knew her saw in her. And when I would spend hours talking with her about who she was, and that she could do anything, she'd look at me and sadly say, "I wish I could see myself the way you see me. But I don't."

I thought I had that one under control. That I saw myself clearly. But in the last few days, and especially today, I realized, I don't. I am truly not believing what is possible – or what I've accomplished. And it's a shame. Because too much time is spent trying to overcome my OWN objections. Really frustrated, I decided to blog about this and then I thought about turning to a chapter in Dead Rita's Wisdom for some….wisdom! And the following is an excerpt of what I found just now that I had previously written in a moment of clarity in the Chapter titled "Yes, but":

After she died, I received a wonderful gift from her. I believe it is the last piece of wisdom I ever heard in her voice. It was in 2003, I was at a coaching retreat and had come to some realizations about who I truly was and what I could bring to the world. And it wasn't grand or grandiose, but it was life changing and very grounding for me. Knowledge brings peace – there was no euphoria, just a settling in my soul who I was. And as I sat journaling in this last day of the retreat, I was filled with a serenity and then I heard Dead Rita say to me, "Vic, you have just learned what I never knew: you have learned who you are and now no one will have to spend their lifetime trying to show you that – and no one will have the responsibility as you felt for me to try and get them to see their own innate skills and gifts."

If Dead Rita's Wisdom never hits the shelves, I'm good because it's real wisdom and it will used to help those who can benefit from it through me. (But I'm seriously up for a monster book tour!)

I forgot what I know. I have to reflect and remember and see myself as others see me. Not for better or worse (the way I usually head), but actually as who I am.

In my fears and frustration today, I continue to faithfully ask for signs and support. And they come not from an apparition of Dead Rita, but in the form of profound conversations – and wonderful friends, old and new, who touched my life today.

And I am truly thankful.

A Must Read (AMR) Always ahead of her time

IMAGE SHOWN IS THE FIRST BIRD DEAD RITA EVER DREW FOR ME....HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BLOG! :)

Dead Rita was always ahead of her time. No really. She would get an amazing idea and then NOT act on it due to fear or insecurity or lack of faith in herself. And then six months to a year after she realized or created something, it would hit BIG.

When she retired from her work, she didn't know what she wanted to do but she wanted to create. She had very little money and had started doing these amazing shadow boxes that looked like real scenes. What she couldn't buy in miniature, she made. Like tiny blocks, or crocheted a little rug. Amazing. When she told me about them, she was sure she could sell them for a couple of hundred dollars a piece. And I knew she could. They were exquisite. John and I decided to seed her with the cash. A modest $500. I thought she would pee her pants she was so excited.

She created about 10 scenes and took them to a high end craft show in Ft. Wayne. I knew they would sell out. She was terrified to show them and get feedback. Mr. Papa went with her – the ultimate salesman/carny hawker. EVERYONE stopped to admire them. Few were purchased. A little out of range of Ft. Wayne Christmas shoppers. She was crushed. About 2 years later, I saw the same idea (nowhere near as exquisite) in a high end gift shop. Dead Rita was with me and we just shook our heads. That happened all the time!

It reminds me of this book I just read that you should read: A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future by Daniel H. Pink. This book was published 3 years ago but it was new to me. It's a fascinating discussion of the shift our world is making to honor the right side of our brain. The creativity; the uniqueness that is in each of us; the freedom we gain when not constrained by anything other than our senses (as defined by Pink: DESIGN, STORY, SYMPHONY, EMPATHY, PLAY, MEANING). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhKLSTBSgwI

This book was Dead Rita – operating fully with BOTH sides of her brain – the accountant/artist….cerebral/verbal….intellectual/practical. Her wisdom for me continues to be magnificent. And when I finish my book proposal, it will be for you too! J

10 Years Later

I'm in Rwanda through 22 October working on behalf of the Itafari Foundation. I believe this will still be posted on 3 October in US. I just wanted to note that it's the 10th anniversary of Rita's passing: how unbelievable to me. Who knew 10 years later I would be working here. I was telling Sara who came from the UK to join me that there was only one thing I knew for sure: that Dead Rita and I would grow old together. I was wrong. But I could have only have dreamed that this woman who loved me so well could touch the lives of so many since her death. May all you do in your life honor those you have lost, as I strive to honor my dearest departed Mother.

I've been bad about blogging in the last month as I prepared for this, my 6th trip to Rwanda in 3 years: read my other blog to follow that adventure. http://itafari.org and go to the blog highlighted on the homepage.

Hope to see you somewhere in the world, sometime soon.

It is well with my soul

There is so much trauma in the world. Self inflicted and inflicted upon us. But healing happens constantly through all mediums. Healing through the arts is the mission of Well Arts Institute http://wellarts.org/ , a nonprofit in Portland that seeks to enhance wellness using the creative arts in the severely and chronically ill and people living with traumatic life events.

Last night I went to a fundraiser for them. KC Cowan, host of OPB's Oregon Art Beat acted as a fabulous MC and Susannah Mars, a vivacious cabaret singer brought warm, humor and personality to her performance. Additionally, two powerful pieces by Wells Arts were presented by the actors and writers who use the stories of those who have suffered to give insight to the audience of their pain, their journey and their path of healing.

The writers are those who experienced the work brought to us. They choose an actor to represent their story and the rest unfolds before the audience.

It was really good! (you can see why my eloquent reviews don't warrant newspaper space!) J And money was raised for this important program.

I think of my darling Dead Rita and how she struggled with her cancer. She couldn't even say the "C" word until almost the end. Her story would have been fabulous. Her story, her wisdom, is the one I tell in my book. But what if she had had the chance to tell it in her own words? Healing would have been more complete.

But it is now well with her soul. There is more wellness in the souls of those whose stories are told through Well Arts Institute. And the gathering last night to celebrate and support this work made the souls of all who were in attendance better for being there.

Go to the website and then attend a performance in the future - you will be better for it.

Ethnic Pride

Where am I from, exactly? I don’t exactly know. For all of my thousands of conversations with Dead Rita, she was a little fuzzy on her heritage. She was born out of wedlock to my grandmother and Johnny Clark. I THINK it’s all German on my grandmother’s side….but is there some Polish in there too? I don’t know anything about Johnny Clark my grandfather. Mr. Papa proudly discussed his German heritage….but there was always so much exaggeration and so few facts, I have no idea where HIS family comes from within Germany.

It’s a family of secrets from a heritage standpoint. And I’m surprised at how little I care. Probably because it was never emphasized by either parent.

This all comes up as a topic after we spent a lovely evening at the Festa Italiana last night. John aka Giovanni, beloved amore, is half Italian (Father) and half Irish (Mother). But we definitely celebrate the Italian part of him and even went to Toro Italy to find his lineage.

When in Rwanda I see the pride of being a Rwandan, being from a certain place. That was never emphasized in my family and therefore few facts are known to me. I know I could do that whole genealogy search, but I don’t think so. It’s just interesting to see what is focused on by our parents, and then what legacy we are left with because of it.

I seem to fit in wherever I am in the world. But strangely enough, when we were in Northern Italy near the German border, John was handed a menu in Italian, and I was handed one in GERMAN! Das ist so lustig!

A Must Read (AMR) – A Grief Observed

Welcome to my book corner. This reoccurring section of my blog is brought to you by my desire to share some of the meaningful books in my life. Some are more serious than others, but they are all about wisdom. Like my book about the wisest woman I'll ever know and her universal wisdom – http://DeadRitasWisdom.com Sign up at the website to get advance notice….I'll even sign your copy! How exciting for me!! And thanks.

AMR 3

One of my favorite authors CS Lewis wrote this book to describe his journey through the grief of his wife's death. He was a brilliant scholar and tutor who lived from 1898 – 1963. Well known for The Chronicles of Narnia, Mere Christianity and his lesser known works such as The Screwtape Letters (one of my favorites).

I found A Grief Observed not long after Rita had died. But I couldn't finish it. Lewis' journal of struggle, agony and near despair struck too close to home early after her death. Finally, I finished it a few months ago, nearly 10 years after her death. So much of what I experienced in understanding my loss and grief was spoken through this journal. A book of less than 100 pages that I recommend for anyone trying to understand their own journey through loss. NOT a light hearted read but one that brings healing.

I rarely discuss the loss of Mom because I honor her more by my action than my mere grief. But there is a place for grief and for me, CS Lewis helped to understand that journey through it.

The best advice Dead Rita ever gave – gave me a great marriage

I met John in January 1980. We married August 15, 1981. (honeymoon picture shown above) I was 24. His children were 12, 14, 16, 18 and he was 42. They said it wouldn't last. And they was everybody. Fair enough. It looked impossible. But the impossible is always possible. Ask anyone who has overcome impossible odds. An Olympian athelete, a single parent, a business person facing terrible odds, a survivor of the 1994 Rwandan genocide. And yet. We accomplish the impossible.

Our lack of support was complete. Dead Rita's support was nonexistent and would have been a deal breaker if she hadn't taught me the following lesson: "someday you may choose someone we disagree with – if you can leave your entire world to be with him, then go. If not, he's not the one." I got engaged on a regular basis (no really) and whenever I asked myself that question, invariably I knew the answer was NO I WOULDN'T LEAVE MY ENTIRE WORLD TO BE WITH THIS MAN!!

As we neared the big day in 1981, I got nervous and asked myself the question above. Without thinking, I said, "yes, I would leave my world!" I was stunned and afraid and knew he was the one. In the meantime, Rita (not dead then) did everything but throw herself in front of a train to stop the upcoming nuptials.

In fact, 2 nights before our wedding JOHN told me I shouldn't marry him! He told me I didn't know what I was doing. I was devastated and told him, "look – someone has to believe in this besides me! You have to believe we can make it."

But a year after we were married, Dead Rita apologized and said she was wrong. I reminded her of the wisdom she had given me when I was 17 which made me realize he was the one. She didn't remember but it was true wisdom. (it's this kind of universal wisdom in the upcoming book)

A seriously great marriage. Funny, sexy, loving, successful. We're now 51 and 69. I'm at the height of my career, John is retired for 6 years and just built an airplane. Life is good. And while everything could change in a moment, I cherish this life and what we've shared. I do – I do – I do!

A Journey of 60 Miles

A new friend of mine, Laura Simmons is walking in the 3 Day Breast Cancer walk for Susan G. Komen for the Cure Race. She will walk 60 miles over 3 days in Seattle beginning on September 12^th. I am supporting her financially on this journey and encourage you to do the same.
http://08.the3day.org/goto/DrLaura

Dead Rita died from complications of breast cancer. The last time I walked in the Race for the Cure in Portland was in 1997 with her. She didn't want to do it – HATED cancer but joined me on the walk – truly for me she walked. It was an 8K and though she was in good shape, she had feet as tender as a baby's. So what did she do? Buy new tennis shoes and not wear socks! By a mile into it, she was hobbling from blisters. But she refused to give up. I gave her my socks and she walked in socks only for the rest of the walk. She NEVER went barefoot and it was excruciating for her. But we finished. Dead last. (even the motorcycle cop passed us.) And 40,000 participants. But she finished the race.

I honor her by giving whenever I can. But I still cannot bring myself to walk a race for breast cancer….yet. In the meantime, join me in honoring someone you know. Give any amount. But please give. Thanks. To donate go to Laura's home page on the Komen site: http://08.the3day.org/goto/DrLaura

My A Game

I can't speak to this weekend's attempt for the largest kazoo gathering in Hillsboro for the Guinness Book of World Records BUT there was excitement for me at the Williamette Writers Conference on Saturday!

I met writers, agents, intelligent thoughtful people who are working hard in the book business. And then I remembered what I didn't realize I'd forgotten: writing this book is just like another business. And I love business.

Writing Dead Rita's Wisdom and marketing it is no different from the business of the Itafari Foundation or the business of my Executive Coaching and Speaking business. It's all about executing a plan and following through.

For Itafari, it's about clarifying the message of assisting Rwandans to rebuild their country in ways they know are most productive. http://itafari.org

For my business of coaching and speaking it's working with clients in a way that empowers them to be their personal best in business and in life http://victoriatrbosh.com

For Dead Rita's Wisdom it's the message of what this book is about, what it can do for others, and how it's needed to assist people in connecting in with their own inner wisdom. It's about a compelling and convincing book proposal. A great author's platform. A passionate belief in the power of this book. http://DeadRitasWisdom.com

For all these things in my life (and other areas as well) I need to bring my A game or said another way, not hold anything back. An excellent message, proposal and then execution.

Just like life. Have an A Game week my friends.

Agents and Kazoos

I thought this weekend was going to be relatively quiet but it's just picked up a few clicks!

This morning John was reading the paper and said, "hey, did you see this article titled Asians troll for books?" What??? And then he said AGENTS (I have got to get my ears checked!) will be at the Willamette Writers Conference this Saturday and writers can pitch their books! Now doesn't that sound like fun?? It does to me! Talking about DEAD RITA with new fresh faces…it feels like I'll be at Amateur Night at the Apollo Theatre ready for the buzzer. Because all they can say is no.

Dead Rita's Wisdom – the series….Wisdom Weekends for Women….Book club appearances….website http://deadritaswisdom.com/ (have YOU signed up for notice about the book?) … Larry King Live (don't ask about the last one – just a weird premonition)

I'll report back Monday.

And THEN, to keep our grandson happy on Saturday, John also spotted the Guinness World Record Attempt for the largest kazoo ensemble in Hillsboro Oregon! (And as the ad says: no talent required.) Now that will be entertainment!

Everybody wins! Somebody is going to make a splash!

Happy Friday.

I could use some wisdom

Having grandchildren staying with us becomes a full time job for me. Though I'm wise enough to get them off to camp all day, when they're home with us I want to be fully present. But who do I become around them? I'm so tough on them! Lots of laughter for sure. Fun. Games. But lots of rules. I never chose to have children of my own but marrying John was the great cosmic answer to that plan. I was given, and truly accepted, four. They're all grown and now have these wonderful kids that they share with us.

So in the summer when they visit for a week at time, I want to give them my best. But I know I want too much. I want them to knock it out of the ballpark every time. And whenever they say something that shows their doubt in their own abilities, I'm RIGHT THERE to coach them to…. what ? A better answer? A more empowered view? I don't know. I don't always remember that who they are is enough. But how do you consistently bring out the best in a child and encourage them to believe in themselves?

Good evidence that the kids love me. They're all eager to visit and stay with us. My grandson Matthew said, "Vitsy, you are very funny!" (Now THERE'S a brilliant child!) I know I connect with them. But I must not be frustrated for them. It's important to balance my desire for their success in life with the reality that who they are, in this moment, is enough.

Boy could I use some of Dead Rita's wisdom! How did she do it so well for me? She was tough. Didn't tell me I was wonderful all the time. But somehow I felt loved and supported. Her compliments were always sincere. But I wonder what I think is missing.

This is when having a dead mother really becomes an issue for me. When it becomes clear that I really need her here.

I'll search around in my brain for a good answer on how to be the best for my grandchildren – what WOULD Dead Rita have said?

But sometimes words of encouragement from a great source really help. So if you're reading this and have words of wisdom, don't hesitate to tell me. I don't know it all: I just look like I do!

Sign up for notice on book!

So I've owned the website DeadRitasWisdom.com for sometime. But the homepage was just a placemarker from godaddy.com Kinda ugly. And definitely not Dead Rita's style.

But no more! Da-Da-Da-(provide your own crescendo here) DAAAAAA! Website is LIVE - which means take a look and SIGN UP to receive early notice when the book will be available for sale. (not selling your name or any nasty thing like that - just pure notification when available).

You say your name is RITA??! LUCKY YOU! You'll receive a free copy if you're one of the first 500! Nice huh? Dead Rita would like that. (She was very generous.)

No pressure. No hook. Just letting me know you were serious when you told me "I can't wait for this book!" Be the first on your block to own it! When you say? Not sure, I say! But the suspense is building....

Click here to go to the website: http://deadritaswisdom.com/ How exciting is this!

Can I get a whoo hoo?!

Just a little declaration here: I'm done (for now) re-editing Dead Rita's Wisdom! WHOO HOO! It took tremendous discipline but a certain publisher (we'll call him Rick-mostly because that's his name) who is coaching me will be pleased I'm sure!

It's amazing to sit for hours and read her wisdom that I have written about. It empowers me to accomplish so much! A woman whose life was so hard – who died too young. Who left behind magnificent wisdom. And I somehow captured it. Whether or not we have something here that is marketable remains to be seen – or as DR would say: "We shall see what we shall see".

So much dead wisdom out there! JFK, Eleanor Roosevelt, your deceased grandparent, a teacher's kind words when you were a child (and you're old now so they could be dead…) and it goes on and on. Do not take this lightly – but do see it all with a sense of wonder.

It's a definite whoo hoo moment!

Not a Spy

This came up yesterday again in a conversation. And I'd like to start by saying I am not a spy for the CIA. "URRRHH? " you say in your best Scoobie Doo voice??! In some parts of the world, if you get a lot done, it is assumed you possibly/may/probably work for the government. Different cultures look at the effectiveness of an individual in different ways.

Certainly in Rwanda I've been thought to be a spy for us/them…I don't know. And while I do find it amusing and a bit flattering that I'm that important or useful, it's not true. It's only a topic of conversation because I and Itafari accomplish so much in Rwanda with so little. http://itafari.org/

And the assumption is to accomplish so much, you must have amazing resources or connections or power. WHAT IF it were possible to accomplish so much because you're doing what you're meant to do; you have a belief and faith in the power of what is possible; and you'll overcome any obstacle to reach your goal. What if that was the truth. And so people who haven't found success believe that the other guy is just lucky/connected/corrupt. Shame on them.

In a country like Rwanda it's a bit easier to understand because so many people promise to accomplish something and don't. Well lucky us. It's not easy but we're determined. I'm determined on a personal level to accomplish the goals we set. And then set bigger goals and accomplish them.

Dead Rita is my inspiration. She overcame overwhelming odds and was an exceptional human being. She overcame poverty, ignorance, shame, abuse, fear and doubts. And did it anyway. I love that.

So all you would be spies: quit waiting for something or someone to save you or accomplish what you can't. Become your own solution. And stay out of the spy business.

Introducing Dead Rita!

I speak of her and this blog is because of her. So here she is. Uncharacteristically and decidedly animated in public! I love this picture of her. It's from the early 1990's.

She was my dearest friend and a fabulous Mom. Dead Rita's Wisdom, the book, is all about the wisdom she imparted throughout her life. After she died in 1998, I continued to think of the words and wisdom she brought to me. They do sustain me, and others. So the book will give you wisdom and remind you to tap into yours – either the wisdom from people in your life who are no longer alive, or those that who surround you and support you. Wisdom comes from other places too….tap into it.

See the survey to the right of this blog. Feel free to participate. Thanks!

The End of my Jubilee Year

It's amazing that as humble as Dead Rita's beginnings were, she named a daughter in 1957 after Queen Victoria! And I've always known it. I knew that Victoria meant victorious. I knew that Queen meant Queen. And I cozied up to it! And she never called me VICTORIA DIANE! when I was in trouble. Not that I got in that much trouble. A pretty good kid….and when I wasn't good, I kept it quiet.

I've always felt an expectation to succeed. In many families it is spoken. In mine, it was understood. And so I met and exceeded Dead Rita's expectations and mine as well.

One of the great things Dead Rita did was celebrate her family. My birthday is May 31^st. In the 'good old days' Memorial Day was always the 30^th of May. So we would always go to the Memorial Day Parade. And I always imagined it was a parade for me! (no illusions of grandeur there!!)

We'd celebrate my BD on the 30^th. And then on the 31^st I'd celebrate AGAIN. I eventually (and still ) grew to celebrate my birthday the entire month of May! But I'm tough: it ends promptly at midnight on May 31^st. June celebrations for me lack that 'birthday' feel. But any and all events in May are sanctioned.

Last May 31^st I turned 50 and declared it my Jubilee Year – 50^th year celebration just like….wait for it….the QUEEN! It was a good year!

I went to Rwanda, loved my family, grew my business and most importantly, wrote Dead Rita's Wisdom. It's done and now it's in the rewrite stage. I'm very excited about it and sharing her wisdom.

A strong part of her was celebrating those she loved. I strive to do the same. I love giving someone a round of applause - literally or figuratively. So let's hear it for the little victories. The overcoming of unbelievable obstacles. The joy of the moment.

And the importance of sharing wisdom. That must be celebrated. And so as I prepare to enter my Jubilee più un, may I not forget to celebrate – for myself and others.

Oh, how you will delight the angels

She comes up at the strangest of moments, my Dead Rita. Today we watched one of our favorite movies, Babette's Feast. Winner of the 1988 Best Foreign Language Film. My first food film. And also a beautiful story that for years we have been meaning to watch again. The scene that I remember the best was the end where Babette serves a pious community a french meal the likes they (nor I) have ever seen.

Babette is a woman who fled France during in the 19^th century and took refuge in a remote village of Frederikshavn in Denmark. She works for two sisters for 14 years until finally she wins a lottery from a ticket that a friend had been buying for her for years in Paris. All of these years in this somber and quiet community in the village of Frederikshavn, her gift as a chef had been hidden. And then she prepares the Feast. Everything changes for the small group of 12 for whom she prepares this meal.

Tonight the last lines of the movie struck me as another piece of the puzzle regarding Dead Rita. When you read my book you may be dismayed at some of the tragedy of her life. I certainly was. Yet I have never believed, nor wanted to believe, hers was a life wasted.

The following lines of the movie could have been spoken by me to her, and then her response. And I am wiser for this lesson. She was a great artist; one I never believed was able to shine. I am beginning to believe I was wrong.

Here are the lines:

You should not have given all you owned for us.

It was not just for you.

Now you'll be poor the rest of your life.

An artist is never poor. Throughout the world sounds one long cry from the heart of an artist. Give me the chance to do my very best.

But this is not the end, Babette. I'm certain it is not. In Paradise you be will be a great artist that God meant you to be. Oh, how you will delight the angels.

I heard something in these words tonight. The first time I saw the movie Dead Rita was still just Mom. But the movie has haunted me since we first saw it in the late '80s. There was always a message in here for me that Dead Rita's life was not poor. Not given at her expense. But given with delight and given because that's all she knew to do. In fact, was made magnificent in spite of its humble surroundings of her circumstances and experiences. I am certain you are delighting the angels my dearest Dead Rita.

Take Your Art to the World


I do not know why people write books. I only know why I wrote one. I had no choice. And while the expression “I see dead people” was made hugely funny and popular because of the movie Sixth Sense, I don’t see ‘em, but I sure love talking about one of them!

My dead person is my dearly departed mother, Rita. Gone but not forgotten. Missing but not lost. Dead but alive through her wisdom. (shown above is Dead Rita, circa 1985 with her grandson, Josh)

Dead Rita’s Wisdom is profound. You probably don’t know her unless you’re related to her; worked with her in Ft. Wayne, Indiana; or grew up with her in Norwalk Ohio. But I knew her as I will never know another human being.

She loved me from the moment I was born in 1957 until the moment she died in my arms in 1998. And in her dying I realized I knew nothing. Because prior to her death I only knew one thing for sure: she and I would grow old together. BZZZZT! (wrong answer game buzzer) Now what? So I know nothing for sure. But I know this: wisdom must be shared, from the living and the dead.

She freely shared her wisdom with me. I was always there to hear it, reject what was not true, and act on it. While my life is not without difficulty or challenges, there are no regrets. No major face plants. No undoing of wrong. Just slow and steady. Nothing I consider spectacular. But certainly some extraordinary moments, with many many more to come.

And so I wrote a book. And the wisdom from her is simply blow-your-hair-back profound. The catalyst for this blog is Dead Rita’s (aka Mom aka Gram) grandson whom she reverently referred to in hushed tones as one of her “exceptional” grandchildren.
An example of that wisdom.

Exceptional Grandson #1. Josh. Born in Ft. Wayne in 1985. Dead Rita’s artistic talent was real and appears to be hereditary. My brother Jeff showed artistic talent. And while he never pursued it, his son Josh began to show a tendency for art. And Dead Rita noticed. She admired the art he created as a little boy. And then one day when Josh was 10, Mom sat down with him. And she said, “Josh, I have hidden my talent from the world. I don’t want you to do that. Take your art to the world.” Mom died when Josh was 13. I didn’t see Josh after that until he was a senior in High School. But when I visited him we talked about his Gram, Dead Rita. By this time, his talent was well established, and he was receiving awards for it. And he told me he wanted to get an education in art. And when I asked him why, he told me about Mom’s words to him. And he said to me, “That’s why I’m becoming an artist, Aunt Vicky”. Mom had that kind of influence on me, but here was a young man, a boy when she shared those words: “take your art to the world”. And his world was changed forever.

He inspired this blog because yesterday he called to tell me he had been accepted into Rhode Island School of Design Graduate School (RISD) for printmaking. RISD is #1 in the nation for fine arts graduate programs. One of 7 students accepted into the graduate printmaking program this year. Josh is truly taking his art to the world. And it was the words of a loving grandmother, a woman who refused to limit his world as hers had been limited, that were the guiding words for his passion, art.

When Josh called me to tell me, we were both in awe. I am so proud of him. Dead Rita lives on in me. And however heaven works, it is so clear to me that in Josh’s balcony of life, sits Dead Rita. Front row, hanging on his every victory, feeling his pain, and believing in him. I can imagine the cheering of that SMOKING section. Ridiculously happy. Riotously ecstatic for his victory. And so sure that it was always going to be.

Take your art to the world. An example of her simple and profound wisdom. And I always wonder, what art must we each take to the world. My art is not of canvas or clay. My art is of inspiration and wonder. Truly, anything is possible for anyone. You cannot be too poor, too hurt, too damaged, too privileged, too intelligent or too ignorant to not be able to bring your art to the world.

But you do have to think about it. And I’m thinking about it all the time. This is my journey of taking Dead Rita’s Wisdom from mind to paper to book. And I look forward to watching this art unfold.

To Josh, you are an incredible inspiration to me. To look at you reminds me of your Dad, my brother, whom I love so much, and of Mom, whom I could not love more. You and I will journey together through Dead Rita’s Wisdom. I look forward to your illustrations of the book, your support of me as I support you, and the art you will bring to the world. And I say in the most hushed and loving of tones, “you are exceptional”.